A Year in Perspective

 

Last year I did very melancholy post about what Christmas meant to me at first. I was very emotional then, okay?

 

Some things have changed. Which is good, right? If there’s no flux, we stagnate, right? There’s certainly been a lot of that during 2009.

 

Last year I was a bit (snigger) of a mess. No different from the previous years. This year, I thought I was doing much better – no crying, no sulking, no sadness. And last night…WHAM! It hit me in the face like a pap snoek.

 

Ironic, isn’t it. Just like that, and you are in the dumps…..

 

I got to thinking about the year past, all the good, the bad and not so funny. And what the future holds. I was mostly so focussed on all the negatives, I lost sight of all the good. And this morning, working on this list, I realised that it’s not (and wasn’t) as crappy as I’d convinced myself…here’s my year in perspective

 

Downs

Having lost another young member of the family

Realising I can’t fix everything – the control freak in me hates this

The fall out with ouboet, which was way overdue

The fall out with my oldest and bestest friend, prolly also way overdue

Accepting that I can’t keep the family together – it’s not my responsibility

Learning that we are still alone, even with people around us.

I have my limitations – there’s only so much I can do and handle, it’s not a weakness to ask for help

Letting go

I really don’t know it all … *winks”

 

Ups

Knowing that there are (still) really good people out there

No matter how bad things may be/seem, there’s always a way out, and things do get better

Having friends who really care about me, warts and all

Learning to let go

Getting the job in Germany

Helping a friend cope with her grief over the loss of her husband – from being a total hermit, to now doing some socialising

Finally learning to say “No”

Coping better with my own losses

Making peace with my Da’s relationship. She ain’t going nowhere, so….

I’ve managed to further cultivate and maintain the (very delicate) relationship with my sister. Phew.

Both my babies passed their exams! Not as well as I expected, but they did!

Knowing I’m not alone

Realising that my gut instincts are seldom wrong

Having made new friends – and hoping to make more! *wink wink*

Accepting that I cannot control that which is outside my influence, only my thoughts and actions.

My children and the Boo

 

Forward

Sticking to my guns once I’ve made a decision

Investing more effort in my relationship with Boo. He’s willing to sacrifice so much for me. And anyway, he ain’t going nowhere, is he? 😉

No more procrastinating. Just do it.

Listening to my gut instincts

Stop being so controlling & critical…

Reminding myself of above everytime I feel like kicking someone in the teeth when they stuff up.

 

I am sad that I will not have my family (the two brothers) around me over Christmas, but there are a few who know this and are doing their best to make it magical regardless. To them, I say thank you from the bottom of my (sometimes shallow) heart.

 

Now, shove off and have fun!!

 

Mwah!