Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you were reacting completely opposite to who you really are? Like totally contradictory to your nature? Have you ever wondered if it’s really true that people only bring out either the best or worst in you?
No? Me neither.
Now I know this might seem like it’s gonna turn out to be an immensely cerebral and interesting post. Alas. I have to surprise you. It’s not
This is a vent post. Be warned. Don’t look for logic or clarity of speech.
I was pissed off because husband didn’t have the food ready at 18:00. Like I asked him so nicely to do. I’d had a really kak day at work – demanding customers and childish team mates just completely drained me. And because of back to back meetings, I never got a bite to eat. Now remember – I am not well (no comments about my mental condition please!!) physically so I need to be fed properly. So by the time I got home I was practically expiring from malnutrition and dehydration, and looking really forward to a warm plate of food. But there wasn’t any (did you catch that exaggeration?)
And I sulked. I didn’t do the adult thing and throw a tantrum. No. I just kept quiet and sulked. Maybe that in itself is throwing a tantrum.
While I was sulking I was having great arguments with him. In my head. “How disappointed I am. How it pisses me off that he gets to sit around watching TV, doing whatever he wants all day – I would love that luxury. That he can’t do just one thing I ask for. That he should take better care of me as the breadwinner. That he has his job and I have my job and we need to do what we need to do” and all such grown up stuff.
I just kept this all to myself. Because it’s sort of obvious to me, and it should be to him. Why should we even be having such a discussion?
Am I being selfish and unreasonable?
My boss expects me to perform – I expect the same from him (him = hubby, in case you were lost). Is that too much to ask? Am I selfish? Should I leave him to do just do what he wants, when he wants, and if he doesn’t feel like it, just ignore it like the elephant in the room?
Sometimes I am selfish and unreasonable. But sometimes I actually believe I am not – that what I expect is just the same as the next guy who’s wife is a stay-at-home parent: a clean house, clean clothes, food when I come from work (and not flippen at 09:00pm!!!) a glass of wine at the ready and the kids needs taken care of.
Is that really too much to ask?