It was a Thursday evening
Sitting in front of the telly, with my glass of merlot in hand
Me: *warily, I know that tone of voice* Ja?
TA: How does one French Kiss?
Me: *cough sputter choke* Er…
TA: *slaps me on the back, hard, comeuppance, and continues as if nothing’s wrong* So I put my tongue in her mouth…
Me: *still trying to recover* Er…ja-ah-a
TA: And then?
Me: *takes a large gulp of wine* Er…can’t your father give you instructions?
TA: You know him. Sent me to you
Me: *realise its unavoidable* I’ve got a book in the study that can teach you….
Me: Is this urgent?
TA: *just gives me a look* Do I move my tongue around?
Me: *looking for help from the heavens* Uhm…ja-aaha
TA: You carry on asif you don’t know how to do this!
Me: *gives him a look*
TA: And what does she do?
Me: Uhm…the same?
TA: *shocked* WHAT?! Nooit?! HER tongue in MY mouth? Grossss!!!
Me: But what do you mean “gross”?! You then got your tongue down HER throat
TA: Ma, don’t be vulgar!
Me: *faking incredulous look on face* But you’ve seen your dad and I…
TA: *disgusted look* Don’t remind me! But this is different. Girls are not supposed to stick their tongues down boy’s throats
Me: Really. So what am I?
TA: Don’t ask difficult questions
Me: *lets that one slide* But you can stick yours down HERS?
TA: *really looking pained now* Ma man! Ei
Me: And that’s sexist!!!
TA: *walks away disgruntled* I’m NOT. That’s just WRONG
Me: And she can kiss any guy she chooses!!! *fetches the bottle and goois glass to the brim*
TA: Ok. Stop it now. I won’t ask you anything again!
Me: *yells at his retreating back* You still want a GF?