Get Ogled

Dizzy’s (useless) tips to getting ogled in traffic (after near-hits and mostly misses – I’ve finally figured it out!)

1.Cut your hair

2. Wear a bling shirt

3. Smile – but not too much, you’ll just look easy (by no means do you wanna look easy in traffic)

4. Drive only in two way streets (ensures they have nowhere else to look when coming to a stand-still)

5. Get there during peak hour traffic (see point # 4)

6. Open the windows and the sunroof

7. Play MJ’s music on top volume (seriously, the windows must be vibrating)

8. Wear “The Fly” type sunglasses (i.e. wrap-arounds, hides a multitude of evils)

9. Wear pink lip gloss (the shinier, the better)

10. Don’t drive too fast – make sure they get a good gander at you

11. Ignore the abuse hurled at you because you’re still playing MJ music

12. Wear 6” heels. Okay, no one will notice, but you will feel fab while sitting there being ogled

13. Don’t get upset when the snoek-bekke & pap-visse also ogle – they are human too

14. Resist the urge to get out and look if there’s something wrong with the car – there’s nothing wrong and there’s NO WAY they are looking at the car. It’s all YOU, babe 😉

You guys have been holding out on me. All this time I thought there was something wrong with me!

Have an awesome day

MWAH!!

PS: has ANYONE EVEN NOTICED I’ve been quiet? *listens to resounding silence*

I mean REALLY?! No-one? Pffftttt. Bloggers. All fickle people.

*mutters to self while shaking head in utter disappointment*

IF any you were wondering….I’m actually working. For a change. 😉

xxxx