… a little bit of this, that and a lot more

Decisions

I had the final interview with the CEO in Deutschland last week and he asked some tough questions – like – will Boo be able to adjust in a new country being a househusband?

Boo will probably not be able to get permanent employment – for obvious reasons – the only possibility is to get an internal transfer from his current position to a branch there. The prospects do not look good on that front. Or he can do bar-tending or become a waiter. HAH. This I want to see!

Although this is something I have contemplated – no kidding?! Just for the past 5 years!!– it seems he had not thought this through quite as thoroughly as I have. It was a shocker when I asked him about this (again) and took him through all possible scenarios.

Yet he is still positive that he will be OK. I have serious misgivings.

From my perspective – once the euphoria wears off, and should he not get a job in a few months – will he still feel like the “head of the house” and “manly” knowing that he is dependant on me for his livelihood? That he is the key in ensuring that everything on the home-front continues as clockwork? That we both  (probably for a while) won’t have any friends and a support system to speak of? That this might affect him more than me? Will he be able to settle into a new country with a different vibe and culture? This is asking for depression and loads of fights.

Which means this will put major strain on our relationship.

I am not too worried about the kids – it will be disruptive for them, but once they settle into school and make new friends (which I am sure they will not have a problem with) and with our support, I am positive they will adjust well. But I’m not so confident about Boo.

Am I ready for this? Will I be able to deal with him being a househusband? Already I have feelings of superiority in this relationship (yah, I know, shit happens!) and I am sure this will increase x 10. Will I be able to accept him not contributing financially? What happens if his brain turns to mush?

I have to give them my final decision by next week. They will make their decision by mid September. If I get it, I have to report for duty in January ’10.

Oh dear. Not as exciting now, is it?

Hope you guys have an awesome weekend

We have some serious things to think about…..

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Comments on: "Decisions" (34)

  1. Mahesi said:

    I don’t wish to be in your shoes dear, should he agree it’s going to really try your relationship. I don’t mean to sound negative or not supportive but i have seen it with my 3 sisters. not nice at all.Good luck Diz and enjoy the weekend

  2. bronwyntivers said:

    Hey Diz,It’s a tough one!! You won’t be alone, though. Even all the way over there…you have us!!!Have a good weekend 😀

  3. JournoJen said:

    Wow rather you than me who has to make that decision. Trust your instincts dear… 😉 Have a lovely weekend.

  4. JoDay said:

    Just popping in to wish you and yours a lovely weekend, honey. 🙂 x

  5. Sundancer said:

    A difficult decision for you Dizzy. I am sure you will make the right choice though. Have a lovely weekend.

  6. lucylu30 said:

    My boyfriend was at home for about a year and I loved it, until my salary couldnt cope,my spending habits was still of a single person. Howver I loved the fact that he cooked everynight, no standing in Q’s as he used to pay the bills.If i ever earned enough,I wouldnt mind him being the 1 to look after our (future)kids.I never made him feel less than a man,never throw things at his face and appreciated his contribution to the houshold.

  7. davidsdance said:

    Good Luck with all your decisions – not easy ones!

  8. hutton said:

    That is a lot of thinking to do.

  9. optout said:

    Tough decision to have to make, I can only echo what other bloggers have said – trust your instincts.

  10. bronnie.l said:

    oooh big decisions! remember what I told you about international study stays the same (I do suspect Germany has major subsidy on their unis to residents though!) have a great weekend.

  11. Sylvia.Brouwer said:

    You need to consider your priorities Dizz …is it what you really want? Can you picture yourself there? How do you feel? don’t worry about Boo, he needs to make his choices…if he says he’s ok with it…GO chick..don’t talk yourself out of it…if it doesn’t work out cross that bridge when you get there..if you don’t try you will always regret it and that could be the bone of contention that drives you apart!…Good luck! all the best for you…hugs..xxx

  12. Sylvia.Brouwer said:

    The children will have a wider range of opportunities for their future…smile Dizzy it’s not so bad…this is good news! NO STRESS allowed!

  13. Killakat said:

    LOL! Thanks doll. Much sense you are talkingxxxx

  14. Killakat said:

    Thanks Madmom.

  15. Killakat said:

    Huge, I’m getting a head ache thinking about it ;)I’ve PM’d you again. You are a starxxx

  16. Killakat said:

    Good grief, those instincts are now totally confobulated! 😉

  17. Killakat said:

    lol! 😉

  18. Killakat said:

    Whoo, that’s one thing I worry about. I can be a right bitch. :(If I do this it will be with eyes wide open, knowing that I cannot do that to him….

  19. Killakat said:

    Don’t I know it…xxx

  20. Killakat said:

    Or, I make the decision and work my ass off to ensure that it works out! 😉

  21. Killakat said:

    XOXO

  22. Killakat said:

    Like I kick myself over other things, Cin…you’re rightxxx

  23. Killakat said:

    They’re all muddled! 😉

  24. Killakat said:

    True that! 😉

  25. Killakat said:

    I know this Sparkle, this is why I am hesitant. If I were a better person, maybe it wouldn’t be such an issue for me. This sucks.

  26. Killakat said:

    lol! Thanks LO, I will

  27. Moonz said:

    Wow .. this is exciting for you. I”m sure the children will settle down beautifully. (A small tip.. I’ve done this before– make sure your boo is very stable and secure with himself – mine had a nervous breakdown within a year and we had to come back – it was his choice to go!.. just playing devils advocate here… weigh up pros and cons)HUGS and have a marvellous w/end xxx

  28. Colonialist said:

    I do hope he will be mature enough to realise that it is a measure of a man to be able to rise to a challenge like that – of being in a supportive role, and of doing it really well. The ones who would find it intolerable would be the ones with self-esteem problems. The success of a partnership lies in each one taking on what leads to best advantage of the family. Meanwhile he will have the opportunity to turn the whole thing into an adventure. I would have loved such an opportunity – it was an option on the cards for a while when my wife earned more than I did, but then I moved ahead.

  29. Sivuyisiwe said:

    I was in that situation 4 years ago but luckily it was easy to pack up and go because i am a woman and i was sure that when i came back i will be able to work again.Let me tell you this much not working when you are used to working is not fun at all and especially if it is an important thing in one’s perspective.I joined every class i could find ie Art,music and all sorts even quilting but i got bored because that was not me.I know that for a man the feeling would be X5 but let him make his decision that he is comfortable with and that he will stick to even when things don’t go well.I hope you both will be able to make the right decision for your circumstances.

  30. pinkpolkadot said:

    Dizzy, I am sure you can make this work!! He can study again… through Unisa, in something that is required in Germany… an do the housework!!!……… I have earned far more than my Hubby for a number of years and now the rolls are reversed… life is a growing path, always changing!!

  31. ishouldbeworking said:

    Good luck Dizzy, its a tough one!

  32. kat64 said:

    Of course it’s exciting. Although I’m glad I don’t have to debate the issues you have at the moment.Hugs, Girl.

  33. ThatOke said:

    Big decisions to be made…but thats what life is all about I suppose. Good luck with whatever path you choose.

  34. PaulNicholas said:

    If he really wants to find a job in Germany, he will. Sooner or later.

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