… a little bit of this, that and a lot more

This thing has been all over the blogs – Journo Jen, Spy, Daisy, Ambi and gawd-knows how many more have done this. 

Ok, you will ask. Why am I doing this?

BECAUSE I CAN. 

And NO ONE excluded married ones from this jig, right?? And anyway, I was bored, so just shoot me if I irritate you…! Well, you can try anyway…

So in my world, this is what will NOT get you into my pants

Hair – Mullets. Gel. Hair oil. Blonde. And highlights / lowlights. Long hair. Ponytails. Leave the long hair where it belongs – ON GIRLS!! On men – it only suits sensei’s (i.e. karate instructors). And not all of them either. Also, if it looks like you spent more than 5 minutes in front of the mirror. Nee man. Asseblief tog. i.e. NO CHANCE

Height – must be taller than me. I’m short, so that one shouldn’t be a stretch. Anything as tall (or short) as me – hit the road Jack.

Facial hair – if you haven’t seen a razor. Like in NEVER. Just turn around and go back to suckling. Still some growing up to do. Not shaving is a NO NO. Moustaches’ are SOOOO last season.

Voice – if you sound like Donald, Daffy or the Woodpecker. Don’t even THINK of opening your mouth in my presence. EVER. Can you imagine when we’re in bed and I want you to talk dirty to me – HUHUH, tjomma, with THAT voice, everything will dry up!

Laugh – see voice above. And no giggling either – before, during or after. Talk about a passion killer.

Size – look, if you are not taller than me, chances are you are TINY. I want a MAN, not a boy. Although, some boy-men or man-boy’s have surprised me before…*thinks about that for a bit*…..NO NO NO NO. Just turn around and go back to Mommy, ‘seblief tog

Hands – if there is just a hint that you have poofy or dirty hands and fingernails, with short stubby fingers. FORGET.IT.IMMEDIATELY. There is NO WAY you are touching THIS with THAT.

BO – showering and grooming is imperative. TWICE a day. If I even get a whiff that you might not like that pastime, skip right past me, thank you. Don’t even THINK about getting up-close-and-personal.

Clothes & Shoes – I don’t care for name brands, but if you ain’t got no style, toodles!!! Hint – Beckham has style. Oops, scrap that, Posh dresses him. Brad has style. Blair Underwood – hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmm. Vernon doesn’t.

Personality – nothing turns me on more. You don’t have any? Guess what…You can’t make me laugh. Guess what? Talking about yourself. ALL THE TIME. HUHUH. And, if you have personality, you should have a brain too…If you don’t….yip, you guessed it, no repartee of ANY nature with me, tjomma!

Dancing – I’m not sure if this should be first or last. Well, it don’t matter anyway. If you can’t, then what are the chances you can in bed? And believe me, you will dance before I go ANYWHERE with you. So we’ll just stop right there. Period.

Now – for the sure-fire way of getting INTO my pants.

Don’t be ridiculous. I’m MARRIED, for goodness sakes!!! There IS NO CHANCE!!!

Unless you are one of them. Not necessarily in order of preference. At all 😉

EDIT: Eric Dane & Blair Underwood. Just in case you didn’t have your glasses 😉


E
                              

Have a fab pm!!

xxxx

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Comments on: "That Pants Challenge Thing" (37)

  1. Killakat said:

    LOL! Totally useless, neh?

  2. Killakat said:

    Not AGAIN?! Sigh, Okay then. xx

  3. JournoJen said:

    MMMM Josh Duhamel is so freaking sexy. YUM YUM! I laughed at your list. Very reasonable though 🙂 I assume husband is all of the above then for you to have married him?

  4. Killakat said:

    NO NO NO!! Eric DANE!! Josh is a baby compared to him! lol ;)I am taking the fifth on that last question, ty 😉

  5. Killakat said:

    Tweakster, we are just having FUN. And hypothetically speaking, of course 😉

  6. Same shit different day said:

    Good list 🙂 xx

  7. armadillo said:

    eric dane….! hadn’t seen him looking this good.

  8. Killakat said:

    Thank you very much, Wildie. That means we might be of a kind, hey? xxx

  9. Killakat said:

    Hmmmmm. Yummilicious. I looked for the best one….he inspires a great deal of emotion in me too 😉

  10. Ashleigh_Rose said:

    LOL! Oh Dizzy I love your style. Your answers really cracked me up.Oooh – Eric Dane is hunky!! Yowzer!!!!!!!

  11. Killakat said:

    Aw, Ambs, you’re too kind!He just makes me want to…. exhale 😉

  12. Killakat said:

    DUH!

  13. shongololo said:

    Bwhahahaha your list is funny!! So he must have a Woody but without the voice? hehehehe I always look for the hair parts in lists like this, funny you don’t mention being put off by bald heads…good for me then 🙂

  14. bronwyntivers said:

    Diz, your list is the best so far!! I LOVE IT!!!And I have to agree…Eric and Blair (and / or LOL) would get in without a second thought!!Have a good one 🙂

  15. hutton said:

    😉

  16. JoDay said:

    Hehehe… I haven’t read the others yet, but yours seems like a pretty reasonable list. ;-D x

  17. bronnie.l said:

    lol – diz! so with you on the height thing…

  18. PeanutGirl said:

    oooohhh, i am so with you on that!

  19. priscillaannef said:

    Eric Dane…*Sigh*

  20. Killakat said:

    LOL!! A woody is extremely important, as long as he doesn’t sound like a pecker, yes!And re the hair – as long as its all gone, no problem. NO COMBOVER’s please! 😉

  21. Killakat said:

    Glad someone else concurs! 😉

  22. Killakat said:

    Mwah!

  23. Killakat said:

    And it’s not complete, but thought it prudent to leave it there…;)

  24. Killakat said:

    Ja, the only time I wanna look down on you is when you are strapped in a chair 😉

  25. Killakat said:

    🙂

  26. Killakat said:

    LMAO!! Like I told Tweak – TOTALLY useless list!

  27. Killakat said:

    We might have a scrap on our hands OC 😉

  28. Killakat said:

    LOL! Where’s YOURS????(((HUGS)))

  29. Killakat said:

    You too hunny, but I’m still comin over to catch up 😉

  30. Killakat said:

    Can I come have a look at yours now? I believe it’s mandatory for single people 😉

  31. Killakat said:

    Yip, no words necessary *sigh x 2* 😉

  32. algoabay said:

    Thanks for the eye candyHave a great weekend 🙂

  33. lonelykitty said:

    Blair Underwood, yes please!!!

  34. LeaS said:

    Irreverent as always!! 🙂 and I love it!!!

  35. kevinmatthews said:

    Did thishttp://mynewsblogs.24.com/ViewComments.aspx?mid=fee2b0a2-2055-4e6e-bda2-bf714faf2a0d&blogid=49529eb5-2237-44a3-89a3-8720e33f31db

  36. Killakat said:

    Definitely! 😉

  37. Killakat said:

    🙂

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