The Letter I never sent (I just had to do this)
Dearest Biker Boy
I was sorry that I met you when I did. I was confused, cold. I was merely breathing. My days were bleak and uninspired. I wasn’t looking for someone at all. I had made my choices and had to abide by it.
I wasn’t expecting to find you, or anyone else for that matter. I’d long ago stopped believing that someone like you could ever exist.
But then you crossed my path, you were the very last thing I expected, or wanted. I still don’t understand what drew me to you. Was it your eyes, your voice or the way you spoke? Or was it the way you spoke to me and made me feel? Was it the honesty I saw?
You made me believe in the humanity that I’d seized to believe in. You helped rekindle my soul. You made me believe in myself again, and that I wasn’t crazy to think and believe what I did.
You showed me a new life, what it could be, by being there for me. By talking to me, teaching me a new perspective. By being honest, sometimes brutally so, you helped me get in touch with myself again, to start having faith in life and love.
You made me believe that love was indeed possible. You revived me. You made me understand that people were indeed just human. Life and happiness was what we made of it. What we believed it to be.
I’m not sorry that I met you anymore. I am not sorry that you touched my life. I hoped I touched yours. But I was too selfish to even ask. Did I touch you? Did I help you get over your demons?
I hope you knew. But it’s too late now. I would have done anything for you. But I was scared. It was too much for me at the time – too fragile….too fantastic.
I am sorry that I never told you. I am sorry that you were taken before I had the guts to tell you. I’ve had to make peace in the hope that you knew. I wasn’t merely using you for my own frivolous purposes.
Your passing taught me more – not to be scared anymore. Not to merely exist, but to live. Not to hold back. Thanks to you, I have myself back.
I loved you then. I love you now.