… a little bit of this, that and a lot more

I can’t make idle conversation. Never been one of my forte’s

Hence I hate running into old acquaintances at the shopping mall. The ones you never really were friends with at school. The “IN” crowd. Especially if they’ve grown 3 x in size since the last time you saw them. Which might not necessarily be a decade (or two) ago. Not that the passing of a decade gives you the right to grow 3 x in size. Or to not make the effort to at least look like something when you are allowed out of the house. You don’t need to look like a painting every time you go out. But at least make sure the shirt is tucked in, or the sneakers are clean and the hair is brushed. No house slofs allowed.

What do you say to them after a decade or two since last seeing them (and they look like a mountain)?

Me: Hey, nice to see you! How ARE you?

Them: Long time no see, hey. I’m great, how are YOU?

Me: Ag good man, thanks. Fancy meeting you here? Do you live around here?

Them: Not really, we were in the neighbourhood you know. You look good (we know that’s an understatement, I look fabulous of course *winks*)

Me: You too (liar liar, pants on fire Dizzy)

Them: Agge no, I’ve gone so fat (whiney voice)

Me: (Uhuh, right that, I had NOTHING to do with that) No no, you look happy and …Healthy? (urghhh. Hole’s getting deep now). How many children do you have? (asif there’s any correlation between size & the nr of children in the car…….)

Them: None, at all. We haven’t been able to. I’ve had 6 miscarriages…

Me: (shit) Oh sorry to hear…..(and I start panicking looking for an escape)…Aw, sorry, doll, need to run, have an appointment with the dentist (on a SATURDAY? At 13:45?)……Let’s do something (and the hole just gets bigger, coz’ I end up having to actually take a number…)…..

Any advice on how to handle future encounters with better aplomb? Or shall I rather just pretend I never saw them and head to the nearest exit?


Comments on: "Liar Liar, Pants on Fire" (25)

  1. ianv66 said:

    Well I know it is rude but I pretend I dont remember them. Them: Hi man long time no cMe: Who the hell are you.Them: John cant you remember me.Me: No, sorry you must have me mixed up with someone else, bye!!

  2. Killakat said:

    LMAO!! Seriously? Maybe I should try it too…

  3. feefy said:

    Hope you are having a great day diz

  4. Killakat said:

    Now THAT’s someting I can’t do. Maybe after a bottle of vino?

  5. Killakat said:

    I’ve taken a vow of silence….

  6. Killakat said:

    Actually, this COULD work. Just pretend….

  7. Killakat said:

    Hey Fee, thanks for stopping by. You too my friendxx

  8. Killakat said:

    This whole politeness thing sometimes grates, though…

  9. JoDay said:

    I never run into old school friends, but often people who know me that I don’t recognise at all. Usually goes like this:Them: Hey, long time, no see! How you doing?Me: Uh, sorry, your face is familiar, but… *lie – face totally UN-familiar*Them: Oh, I was the receptionist at X studio in 1983 for two months. You did a lot of sessions there.Me: OH!! *still zero memory of this person* So, where are you working now?Them: Oh, well, I’m married now – remember *pick-a-name*? [No. I don’t remember. Could care less, actually.] Well, he and I started dating while I was at X studio, and we had two kids. He had an affair shortly after our second baby came along, nearly got divorced, but after therapy… blah – blah – blah….By which point I will interrupt and say: “Well, it was nice seeing you again. Keep well, hey? Bye!” – and make my escape – bugger what they think.;-D

  10. Killakat said:

    LOL! I have some of those too. I’m starting to think that I worry about this unecessarily….it’s my Mum’s fault, always polite to the last…

  11. Sundancer said:

    I hate running into people like that also. Only think of things I could have said when they are gone.

  12. Killakat said:

    Are you trying to tell me something? OOM Tweak?

  13. Killakat said:

    I’m not even that clever, S. It completely elludes me ;-))

  14. Killakat said:

    *grins stupidly* wish I could be half as witty (or clever) when I’m caught in these situations, Koko. 😉

  15. Same shit different day said:

    Run away, quickly – have a special day my dear Dizzy 🙂 xx

  16. Killakat said:

    Enuff with the Tannie bizness *clucks* No respect from kids these days.

  17. Killakat said:

    That might just be the least embarassing route.. ;-))

  18. davidsdance said:

    Pretend and run like hell!!

  19. Luvvit said:

    Duck into the nearest shop and Don a fedora hat and man’s jacket – that should make you inconspicuous! LOLI hate those chance meetings – they are generally so uncomfortable…

  20. JournoJen said:

    Run away hey! It is just fake when people pretend to be interested in your life when they freaking tormented you non-stop in high school. Or even gave a little snot-nosed facial expression when walking past you!

  21. Killakat said:

    LOL!! That seems to be the popular way out…

  22. Killakat said:

    LOL @ LMN! It does get so awkward, especially if there’s no real history there…*note to self: go buy that red fedora*

  23. Killakat said:

    Exactly. They are normally the ones that gushes like that, conveniently forgetting that you weren’t good enough back then. Fluggers. 😉

  24. Killakat said:

    LOL! 1st Prize for most original! First I have to find that hunk….but I’ll sure know what to do with him after.. ;-))

  25. Killakat said:

    So I should change my hair-color? 😉

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