… a little bit of this, that and a lot more

Pity Party

I’m very emotional again today. I can’t afford to be.

Strange how life is – some days you are just fine or convince yourself you are and then something small triggers the tranedal. My mom always called us “lovey”. TA said “bye lovey” this morning and that’s all it took.

She’d had a brainstem stroke. Either they didn’t want to operate or couldn’t. The doctors were not very communicative. Which led to a lot of frustrations on our side. They couldn’t tell us to our faces whether she would recover or not. 

She regained consciousness briefly. We spoke to her and she was able to smile and gesticulate if she was happy or not. We spoke about everything in those two days.

This gave me (and all of us) hope. The next day (today) she was back in a coma. I think I knew then that she was not going to make it. I clung to the hope that she would recover. It was just a minor set back. Miracles have happened before, hadn’t they?
I found out that my Dad had instructed the doctors not to speak to us. I was mad. I started blaming him for the state my Mom was in. He could have done more. Why was he not telling us stuff? Was he really thinking he was protecting us?

Edit 16-04-09
Thanks to everyone


Comments on: "Pity Party" (9)

  1. bronwyntivers said:

    Hey Diz,Sorry to hear about your mom!! I know it isn’t easy to understand but parents do the oddest things because they think they can shelter or protect us…perhaps that’s just what your Dad was trying to do.I do hope you feel better soon xxx

  2. Same shit different day said:

    Dizzy darlin’ – big hugs and much luv to you ~xx~

  3. Beeg ((hugs)) to you!

  4. JournoJen said:

    Oh no I am praying for all the strength in the world to be passed onto you. I would die if something happened to my mom!

  5. Sundancer said:

    So sorry for you Dizzy. A big hug for you.

  6. colleen_figg said:

    Some days one just feels sad Dizzy and remembering your mom obviously makes you sadder.I also had a hard day today, lots of tears on my end tooHope tomorrow gets better, you are not alone, even if we have not experienced your precise painHugs

  7. hutton said:


  8. AbigailStrachan said:

    Hey Dizzy, I know I’m late but wanted to send you a big hug!!! Feel Better hun! xox

  9. Killakat said:

    Thanks for your visits, hugs encouragement and kindnessD

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