We all maintain facades in our lives – whether it’s at work or at home – think about all the people in k*k relationships who can’t get out for whatever reasons, they pretend that all’s well to kids and family; and then there are the people who hate their bosses….
Surely there are different situations that require different degrees of honesty? Is there such a thing as “degrees of honesty”? Or am I delusional?
If I am not completely honest, does that make me a less moral/ethical/principled/sincere person? Does it necessarily infer that, if I am not “honest”, I am lying?
At work – you don’t just blab (to their faces) that you think your colleague is a puff pastry, or that the other one needs some Listerine, or that your boss is an asshole or that yet another colleague should make more effort with her wardrobe. You might drop some hints though, like being subtly disdainful, facetious, recommend that they wear less brown, etc…but people tend to ignore signs like these…
At home – you don’t quite tell hubby that you have a flirt at work that makes you feel like a million bucks, or that you bought a ridiculously expensive pair of shoes knowing he’s going to bitch about it (being in a recession and all, you know…?) the list is endless (ok mine is…)
You are not (always) absolutely brutally honest for various reasons – you don’t wanna hurt someone’s feelings, you might get backlash at work etc.
So my question is this – how forthright/honest/straightforward/frank should you be? I’ll use some examples, from my own dizzyingly honest life *winks*
You guys know I have no ooghare for KK (bossman). I despise him. But before I continue, may I just inform you that I’ve had managers whom I had the utmost respect for. I have no issue with people in “authority”.
Another fact – KK’s lost about 7 employees in the past 5 years – need I say more? So – yes, I see you nodding your heads – he is indeed a prick.
There’s been many a time when I was quite disrespectful and facetious to him, and pointed out when I thought he was wrong….he just continued asif I never spoke…either he’s just dof or very shrewd…Had I told him straight to his face that I think he’s an idiot and why, how would that have impacted my life here? If he was an honourable person, he’d take the critique and do something about it.
Result:- I am civil, I laugh when I have to, I am friendly when I have to be. We have no relationship whatsoever. A leader (in my humble opinion) would have gauged that I merely tolerate him and called me in (yonks ago) to address our issues and come to some sort of truce. He never bothered.
I love husband (at least I think I do, what is love anyway…Ok I’ll stop). We have quite an open & honest relationship (I think). Yet I have not told him about my blogging. It’s a whole new life / experience. It invigorates me. There’s no excitement at home, he’s stuck in a rut, I’m not. I love evolving / exploring new things (on many levels).
I suggested one specific thing and he got all affronted and moody, because “he’s not good enough for me” so I’ve left it. Now I find ways to spice up my life – i.e. I have my secrets – Is this wrong?
*naughty grin* If you fantasise about someone else when you’re making whoopee with your partner – do you tell them? *even I know that would be just stooopid*…
Bottom line – I am selective with the truth, my feelings, my opinions.
So am I a hypocrite? Should I feel k*k because I pretend, or maintain a façade? *must say, I’m a damn good actor*
Are you (points at reader) really honest on all levels? Should you always be absolutely brutally honest with everyone and about every facet of your life?
If you were, would there be any repercussions? Are you ready to deal with those repercussions once you let it all hang out?