… a little bit of this, that and a lot more

Below is a Dizzyingly tongue-in-cheek-take on the challenge thingie….I profusely apologise in advance…..

First off…I saw a window of opportunity when I decided to fix my own damn keyboard – now I can use the 1 and the 3 and the ! which I couldn’t yesterday…just used my shoe to moer the thing back into shape…;-)… I didn’t have to ask for help. Kwaai, né?

Secondlly I saw – yet again – another window of opportunity to actually improve on lil ol’ me…not that I needed any improving…or moering into place like said keyboard…although husband might have something to say about it….

Last night I went to a make up demo, with promises of becoming more adept at applying all that delicate stuff (without looking like a painted pastry) and of course I jumped at the opportunity at learning more (see the window?). And why not have a glass of wine (there goes the weekly rations)…while we’re at it?

Got motherlessly lost coz the hostess forgot to say turn right at Mascara str and THEN left at Blush Str….and then she nogals had the nerve to ask me couldn’t I read?…bloody…(I forgot invaluable map thingie at home, note to self…put invaluable map thingie back where it belongs)

Turns out the person who will be regaling us with all their tips and shortcuts…was none other than a guy…A GUY!! But not just ANY guy…a snotkop laaitie (a very young man indeed) guy…. And he was nogals cute…in a clean shaven, teenaged type of laaitie way…he couldn’t be more than 16 I swear…sopnat agter die ore!! What on earth happened to women being the sole custodians of all things femalely and beautific? …now we have snotkop laaities telling old cow’s how to go about their bizzness? Yoh, things are a-changing….and I wasn’t amongst the old cows…I was one of the younger ones (lol!)

So we all lined up to get our outer layers analysed and he puts some stuff on …very friendly and helpful and full of tips and sêgoed…. When it’s my turn, Snotkop gets all pensive and tells me…Hmm (now I’m worried, am I so ugly, is there no hope of becoming a swan?…)….you’ve got a difficult skin tone…(like…really….REALLY REALLY?? You’re the makeup guru and you’re telling ME THIS?…. PROFOUND…. laaitie, this WAS YOUR window of opportunity) ….Of course, at this point guru person is NOT inspiring much faith in his abilities to transform me…between THREE products he couldn’t decide what’s best for lil old Dizzy…talk about having a colour crises *wink wink nudge nudge*….

Snotkop then tells us he will give us tips on how to do a one minute make-up doodie (just up my alley) and then the long minute (evening wear slash those-who-really-need-the-extra-help-to-look-gorgeous-routine) doodie (shew, out of breath)…Now I’m confused, pay attention to one minute or long minute (another window, see?)? That means I have to lay off the wine…scheize, ok lay off the wine…but the catch was this…THERE IS NO ONE MINUTE Secret to putting on make-up…you STILL have to do the whole tutti except for maybe going full on with the eye paint…HELL, I lost out on another glass of wine for this?!!! …so what did he teach me that I didn’t already know?.…NADA…E! has already taught me all I need to know about putting on makeup like the stars….and then some…:-)…that window has now been bolted….

BUT, the eye opener was this – the one thing I didn’t know (ja right) … Snotkop told me that the windows to my soul was a bit….overHANGING…yep…I don’t have large beautiful open windows…I have overHANGING windows…what the Hell is overhanging windows (er..eyes)??…..talk about confidence inspiring…I feel like a cliffhanger…what with having overHANGING windows, wouldn’t YOU?….Not that I didn’t know that, I look in the mirror every day…for a few seconds…then I look away coz I’m scared at what I see….

But thanks to Snotkop GURU…I feel much better about myself, my skin tone and my overHANGING windows, and I am MUCH more confident and self assured than I’ve EVER been in my ENTIRE life…But I do have gorgeous FULL lips…he stopped just short of calling them worsiesOk, that’s me-bashing….but still….hmm, yummy to kiss, eh?…If you can get past the overHANGING eyes, yes!

This morning, the windows to my soul is a bit less overHANGING….I pulled the hair back tightly and gelled it so stiff you can’t get a needle through it…all just to hoist the hanging bits a bietjie….

I’m truly sorry guys…I was at a loss about this challenge and grabbed this window of opportunity (urghhh, I know) ….forgive me? ;-))

PS: We need to ban guys like these…bring back the women…they are much more sensitive to our needs…OK maybe they lie to us every now and then…but I’ll take the lies any day to being told I’ve got overHANGING eyes….bugger of a snotkop laaitie


Comments on: "Paint the world with words Windows" (13)

  1. Sundancer said:

    LOL at your pulled up eyes. When I used to tell my husband I wanted a face-lift he would tell me to put super glue on my face and stick my head out the car window. He would drive fast and my face would glue itself back.

  2. JournoJen said:

    BA HA HA had a good laugh at your post…men cannot give any opinion on make-up. They don’t wear it. SIMPLE 🙂

  3. Killakat said:

    LMAO @ Sundancer….did you clout him? 😉

  4. Killakat said:

    Exactly…and nogals tell me overHANGING eyes..WTH? get another word you snotkop 😉

  5. Ashleigh_Rose said:

    LOL! Oh no – a YOUNG guy giving tips on applying make-up?! Nah – I wouldn’t have held much faith in what he was saying. …And I would have klapped him for the ‘overhanging’ comment 😉

  6. Killakat said:

    Ambi, I was so vexed…I couldn’t find the words…and I was looking around to see if there was anyone else sharing my malady – just so I don’t feel to sorry for meself lol!! There wasn’t :-((

  7. granny47 said:

    Morning Dizzy.

  8. Killakat said:

    Good morning to You Granny. Have a super dayx

  9. borrel said:

    bwaahaahaahaa, D ek dink ek sal n bottel wyn moet drink voor n laaitie vir my gaan se wat om met my ID te doen! LMAO

  10. Killakat said:

    Bumble, if only I had known…I would have taken my own bottle with ;-))

  11. Mahesi said:

    lol Dizzy, i know the type!

  12. fallenlilangel said:

    ja die kinders van vandag wil ons van alles en nog wat leer! as of ons nooit “ge-educate” was nie… Dit dryf ons almal na drank…Lekker dag!

  13. Luvvit said:

    LOL – you cracked me up. Please dear whoever explain to me what a man knows about make-up – let alone a laaaitjie???? What a waste of wine drinking time!!!

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