Part 1 – Die Voel (sorry, dunno how to put that thing over the “e”; Translation – The Bird)
Last night got home checking these boerseuntjies (and no, there was nothing seuntjie-rig about them – they were HUGE, but could see they must still be at school) loitering outside my gate. I get out to open the gate (sug, really need to get the gate motor this year) and park. The kids later asks me “mummy, who’s that in our yard” got there too late to see who, they’d already left.
After a few minutes baby 2 tells me “who’s on our roof?” I freak out…go to the sliding door only to find one of mentioned boereseuntjies on my garage roof (English commentary in brackets)
Me: “Hey, wat maak jy op my dak!” (whatcha doing on my roof?)
Him: (no apology, nothing!) EK soek my R4,000 se voel (looking for my bird)
Funny me, in a split second think – R4,000 bucks, don’t think its worth that much, anyway, isn’t it in your pants??
Me: “Maar WAT SOEK JY OP MY DAK!!!???” (whatcha doing on my roof?!!)
Him: “Dink hy’t hier ingevlieg” (think he flew in here)
Me: Ek gee regtig nie a blerrie hel om oor jou voel nie, Wie de hel gee jou die reg om net hier inte loop en op MY DAK te kom klim? Het jy nie maniere nie? Wie gee jou die reg….KLIM AF!“ (I don’t give a fuck about your bird, who gives you the right to waltz in here, get onto my roof, without MY permission?)
He gives me a look…and I get out of the door ready to go at him (shoe in hand…)
He nearly fell off that roof in his hurry to get off. I was very brave and dumb (adrenalin)….he’s probably twice my size
Me:(shaking my shoe at his retreating back) “En moenie dink jy gaan weer net hier inwals nie, klonkie, die is MY HUIS, MY YARD. Niemand kom hier in sonder my toestemming nie!!! Wie’s jou ma en pa?” (don’t ever try this again, bugger. Who do you belong to?)
Just walks off ignoring me
Turns out he stays across the road from us – this morning he was giving me the evil eye….ek sal jou en jou ma EN pa uitsort, boetie!!! (Are you looking at me? ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME? I’ll sort you and your mother AND your father out, bugger)
Part 2 to follow……