Today I am miserable – have a cold, this heat will kill us yet – and very very angry. At my brother.
My nephew passed his matric – YEAH!! I am so happy for him. He’s also celebrated his 21st birthday. Yep. His father couldn’t even manage to phone him to wish him well. Asshole. Or to wish him happy birthday. Asshole x 2. I told you he needed to get his head out of his ass. He is so focussed on wallowing in self pity and making money, he’s forgotten that he has two beautiful children that hungers for his love.
When I called Nephew on his birthday (we were still in KZN) I asked him if his dad called him yet (I shouldn’t have, just brings up bad feelings) he tells me “I don’t care if he phones me or not. He doesn’t exist in my life” That was excruciating. For both of us.
Same when he got his results. It is something to be so proud of, you want to shout it from the rooftops. Especially if they had a struggle of it at school. It is an amazing milestone. Some people should just not have kids. I am actually at a point where I do not even want to include him in my prayers. I’ve had it with him. I know I will feel differently tomorrow, but today I am really mad.
My niece was living with him and his Teeny-Bopper wife. He fought for custody. Yet he didn’t fight for his son. Go figure. Nephew thought he was not worthy of his fathers’ love. That he did something wrong, which is why he did not deserve to be with his dad. That his dad just didn’t want him. Can you imagine what this is like for a teenaged boy – he was 11 when they divorced. 17 When they decided to fight for custody for the Niece. By that time their relationship was irreversibly damaged.
As can be expected, he fell in with the wrong crowds. Went through the booze phase and didn’t focus on school. Hence the 3 years lost. But he opened his eyes in time and became quite the responsible young man. Prematurely.
We tried to intervene and talk some sense into both of them. No dice. Nephew & Asshole brother too stubborn. Because his Mom at some point did not have space for him at her house, he stayed at a girlfriends place. Can you imagine the embarrassment and anger when I found out? He could have come to me, his grandda or his uncle. He didn’t want to stay with us coz he would not be close enough for school and of course his friends. This I could understand. Between the three of us we gave him financial assistance when he needed. He is fiercely independent. He didn’t want to be a charity case. He got a part time job to enable him to pay for rent etc. His father gave him zilch. Nada. Asshole.
I wanted to adopt him. SO didn’t think it a good idea. He was probably right. His stance was:- if we take responsibility for him, bro would never learn to do this himself. We also can’t always bail them out just because their parents are selfish, weaklings and fools (my words, not SO’s). I am still upset about it. Now he’s 21, all we can do is (still) support him whenever he needs it. Life can be such a bitch sometimes.
To crown it all – he went to live with his mom since last June. He (yesterday) tells me he had a fight with his stepfather. Fisticuffs. He then moved out. He is now living with his granny. The mom told the stepdad off. In my mind this is not enough….She should put out that idiot and keep her child. OK, she’s got two other kids with him, which probably makes it a bit difficult. I don’t know if I would have done the same. When will this shit ever end?
My Niece. Because of the shit going on in Asshole & Teeny-Bopper’s lives, she doesn’t want to live with them anymore. Teeny-bopper is not speaking to her – can you imagine an adult being so childish?! She even refuses to buy Niece her toiletries for the month. What utter fucking rubbish? I would friggin throttle her if I saw her. So I stay away.
I cannot understand why he does nothing? What is it going to take for him to fucking wake up and realize he is now losing his daughter as well? She told me straight out she does not want to live with them. That her father’s an ignorant idiot and he’s got no backbone. She is only 14, FFS’s!!! These are not words that should be coming out of a teen’s mouth!
She also told me about the Teeny-Bopper’s adultery. The child has evidence. She showed bro. He did nothing. Rather made excuses – Niece must be mistaken, Teeny-Bopper’s got a lot of friends so must have been a friend in need. Shit like that. Yah, I also have a lot of friends, you don’t see my friends smsing me at 1am in the morning saying what a nice time they had, and when can we do it again?! Idiot! This happened last year September. No wonder the child has no respect for him. In her mind he has made his choice. The wrong one. Sigh. Another young life going down the tubes.
I am really so upset I cannot even put it into words. How on earth can people – adults – have children and do this to their kids? And this in favour of people who are NOT their blood? To me, there are no choices to be made. If it involves your children, they win hands down in any situation. Your kids ALWAYS, ALWAYS comes first. Not another mothers’ child. They stab you in the back, then what are you left with? *sigh* I
wish hope that he opens his eyes. Fuckingwell Soon.