Hullo All you lovely bloggers
I am back. Alive & kicking. OK. I exaggerate. Alive. The kickin bit will probably kick in after a few days. For now i am in a pleasant state of euphoria. The result of being drugged into a mild stupor. If I don’t mind my p’s & q’s, nd spilleng please don’t mind me. Laos seem to have short attention span. If i blab….
Hospital people are weird. They seem to all go on a specialized course on “How to Keep your Patient in the Dark”. Yep. First they tell you: your op is at 8. Then they’s not sure. Mrs B is at 8 with same surgeon. Then they have to confirm. Then it’s at 9. 8 comes and goes and you realize its not at 8. Definitely not. So you wait for 9. 9 Comes and goes, and finally someone comes in and wheels you away.
“Is it my time now?”
“Not yet” (another long pause)
“there are some delays”. Uh oh. At this point you think this is not good. Delays only comes from complicaitons. Or Eskom interuptions. Eksom was fine.
“Are we going for a joy ride?”
“No” (not very friendly)
“OK. You are next.” shit
O-kay. Now the jitters start.
“Will you hold my hand?”
“Er. No. I hand … the instruments”. Scalpels, drains, what-nots. Nogals importsnt (is that spelt worng?) O-kay.
“Can he hold my hand”.
“Er no”. O-kay. I’m on my own then.
“Can the aneasthetsst…sstt (you know that guy?) hold my hand? He doesn’t do anything but check some monitors and inject stuff into that tube”
“No” (at which point I notice the clipped tones and dispproving look & give up and let fate take its course…)
They adminster the drugs. I thought you had to count. There was no counting. Just tingling and lights out (snap). Just like that. I was still making conversation. They probably wnated (i’m still not ewll) me quiet. No prob.
Wake up with a thousand voices calling my name.
Just. Shut. Up. I’m enjoying the dreamless sleep. No. Wake. Up. Fuck (i remember thinking that). Okay. I’m awake.
“Do you have pain?”
Are you ficking kiding me?! (I didn’t say that, I thought it…)
“Yes” (at which point I feel a prick and blisfull slumber)
The rest of my stay was uneventful. Except for my wardmates. I was not in a talking mood (no kidding, I could barely talk). And they couldn’t stop yapping. Like those mongrels. Yeah, you know them. I faked sleep. It didn’t help, coz every 5 mins a nurse was there to take BP or temp or something. Hell. We’re supposed to be resting. Don’t go to hospital thinking you’re escaping the work at home. They are evil. They are trained not to let you rest.
The one woman had a bowel problem. Shit. Literally. All the friggin time. Just my firggin luck. Sigh. I had to walk a mile just to have a wee. Got my excercise at leats.
The other woman was in coz she had a fever. You kidding me? Can’t she jump into a cold bath and all’s ok? Seems not. She was there for 3 days when I joined them. When I left she was fine. Thanks to my sparklin personality. Temp was back to normal. She tected me to say she’s bn discharged. Good gilr.
I should be back to nirmal (ok, reasonablly) in a few days. Once th pain’s gone. Those pills are hectic. Makes me sleep and speel. Ok, ’nuff for now. See ya’ll tomorrow. Off to sleep now…