I got a second opinion on the second opinion. I liked this quack. He smiled, put me at ease, took half an hour to discuss the pro’s and the cons & als. Really nice guy. And he cracked a joke. It goes a loooonnnnggg way in putting me at ease.
The results – still the same. So I guess I have to listen to the quacks (for a change). I (just) need to have a small op to remove my thyroid. So I can have a normal sized neck. They apparently do it all the time.
The damn thing has grown (steadily) to just over the size of a golf ball. I know you will ask why I left it so long? I dunno. I am not irresponsible, I had it checked out almost two years ago when I first noticed this alien thing growing on my lovely skinny (then) neck. But the (then) quack said “Have it cut out immediately” and I thought “Nah, I lurve my neck, I don’t think so!!”. You must understand, I will have this ugly scar. We don’t recover from scarring the way fairer people do. We get left with really ugly scars.
I will probably be fretting about this thing for the rest of my life. Added to that, all sorts of crap goes through your mind – what if the scalpel slips, what if they nick my artery….. OK OK, stop it already!! I know they won’t slit my throat, but believe me it’s not easy to stop those voices.
Then he tells me the risk is minimal – I may lose my voice, BUT they’ll fix it afterwards. AFTERWARDS?!! I almost shrieked. WTF?! He could have kept that to himself! I can’t lose my voice. Hell, I don’t wanna go back on the op table, thankyewverrymuch!! I love my voice, it’s not like Demi Moore or Eartha Kitt or anything like that, but it’s mine. How am I gonna scream at the kids and husband now, oh, and don’t forget the guys in the office…no more screaming from one point to the other to bring some coffee. Urgh.
Other than that, no major risks. They cannot do a biopsy on this type of growth. The possibility that it is malignant is 25%. Which is not that much. In my opinion anyway. They will remove the big one, and the three little ones, then do the biopsy while my throat is wide open, once they’ve established there’s no cancer, they’ll close up. If there is, they’ll remove whatever they have to. No big deal.
The first thing hubby says when I got back from the doc’s yesterday “Sheez, that’s bad”. And I go “Noooo, that’s not bad at all!! Stop thinking the worst from the get-go”.
My take on issues such as this is – you can only say “it’s bad” once you know what you are dealing with. We don’t know yet. I refuse to worry. It’ll make me stress. I hate stressing. The kidz don’t know anything other than I’m having an op to remove the ball. That’s all they need to know. Until then, I am not worried, nor stressed. The bed’s booked, everything’s organized. We’ll deal with whatever comes on Monday.
So instead of having a leisurely Monday at home, I will be in hospital. With the remote all to myself. YIPPIIEEEEEE :o)))